Without a Vision
by goosequill
Summary: History Boys: Scripps worries about Posner, and tries to save him from the abyss. PosnerDakin, DakinIrwin, and maybe a hint of ScrippsPosner? Please Read and Review.


Disclaimer: I don't own the _History Boys_. Scrippsy, Poz, and everybody else belong to the brilliant Mr. Bennett. I don't own them. But how awesome would that be?

Author's Note: **Bold** is adapted directly from the play.

Scripps wrote often and long in his notebook, especially abut the increasingly worrying Posner.

_Posner can be seen deteriorating at an alarming rate. He follows Dakin around constantly; his eyes wide and melancholy like a puppy's. He remains faithful to Dakin, though Dakin continues to show no interest._

_His case is worrisome. Posner subsists on a diet of Dakin, depression, and despair. He's losing weight, and I don't think he sleeps much. Poor boy. Dakin's the only thing that matters to him right now. Dakin is his world, his light. Posner is like the verse in Proverbs: "Without a vision, the people die." And his vision, Dakin, is fading fast. As Benjamin Franklin put it, "vision without action is hallucination." Nothing is coming of the infatuation with Dakin, and as his illusion loses substance, so does Posner. Posner, the quintessential (is that the right word?) spaniel would gladly be as the dog of Matthew 15:27, "the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters' table", but nary a crumb falls from Dakin's plate. And without such morsels, Posner is fading, consumed by his love._

_I understand he wanks a lot, his only solace. Though I imagine that afterwards, the poor thing feels even worse._

**How much more stuff like that have you got up you're sleeves?" Irwin asked, incredulously.**

**"All sorts, sir!" Lockwood said exuberantly as the bell rang. He looked around at the others. "The train! The train!" , he cried, and they sprung into action. Posner took center stage. Timms grabbed an exercise book and began to fan him furiously. Scripps sat down at the piano and began a segment of Rachmaninov's Second Piano Concerto. The other boys made noises appropriate for a train setting.**

**Posner began in his falsetto.**

**"I really meant to do it. I stood there right on the edge. But I couldn't. I wasn't brave enough. I would like to be able to say it was the thought of you and the children that prevented me. But it wasn't. I had no thoughts at all. Only an overwhelming desire not to feel anything at all ever again. Not to be unhappy anymore. I went back to the refreshment room. That's when I nearly fainted." Posner swooned into a chair.**

**Irwin, still puzzled, asked "What is all this?" The boys shushed him, and the scene continued.**

**Scripps got up from the piano, and walked over to Posner.**

**"Laura."**

**"Yes, dear."**

**"Whatever your dream was, it wasn't a very happy one, was it?"**

**"No."**

**"Is there anything I can do to help?"**

**"You always help, dear."**

**"You've been a long way away. Thank you for coming back to me."**

**Posner sobbed, and buried himself in Scripps arms. **

**Irwin gave a small laugh, and said dryly, "God knows why you've learned **_**Brief Encounter**_**." The boys applauded, and began to file out of the classroom.**

As the began to walk out, Posner caught up with Dakin, who was talking with Scripps.

"I dunno why, but I can't stop thinking about him." Dakin was saying.

"Who?" Posner asked, hoping against hope.

"Irwin." Dakin said. "I don't know, I know he hates _me_, but he just… fascinates me. He annoys me, infuriates me even, but he's still… attractive to me, you know?"

"Dakin, you're not seriously considering…" Scripps said, "You are! Don't. I know that look, Dakin. Don't. You're a student. He's a teacher. Never the twain shall meet."

"Yeah, but…" Dakin looked meaningfully at the lanky Scripps.

Posner stopped, turned, and ran back towards the main school building.

The other boys looked on after him. No one made a move.

"Don't all run to help him at once", Scripps said bitingly. "Oh, alright, I'll go check on him." He walked back towards the tall building as the others continued out the gates and towards home.

...

Scripps entered the main building, and, enquiring of a janitor, learned that Posner had gone up the stairs. He fund the same to be true at each of the subsequent floors. Eventually, he came to the roof. There he was, standing uneasily on the edge of the building. Though not a very tall building, the chances of a small boy like Posner surviving such a fall were not ones Scripps cared to take.

"Poz!" he yelled desperately.

"Scripps? Go away, Scrippsy. Leave me alone. I need to do this."

"Poz, what are you doing?"

"I'm putting a stop to it all."

"What?"

"I'm so tired, Scrippsy. So very tired. Tired of watching Dakin cavort in his beautiful, sunny world while I stand locked out in the rain. Tired of listening to him list his sexual conquests while my only comfort is my left hand. I don't want to be unhappy anymore. I don't want to feel anything anymore. I just want… nothing."

"Poz, this is not _Brief Encounter_! You don't have to do this!"

"I want to, Scrippsy. Dakin is my world, and Dakin doesn't love me."

"You'll get over Dakin. It'll pass. It's just… a phase."

"It'll pass. It's a phase. That's what everybody says. What is I don't want it to be a phase. What is I don't want it to pass? And even if it doesn't, 'the sadness will never go away'. Vincent Van Gogh."

"What?"

"That was what he said before he killed himself. Goodbye, Scripps." Posner turned back to the ledge.

"'The man who, in a fit of melancholy, kills himself today, would wish he had lived had he waited a week.' Voltaire." Scripps cried, desperate now.

"what have I got to look forward to. More of the bloody same? More of Dakin mooning over Fiona and Irwin? More disappointment.

"You've got tons to look forward to, Poz."

"Scripps, I'm a Jew, I'm small, I'm homosexual, I live in Sheffield. I'm fucked."

"Don't say that. You're gong to Cambridge or Oxford, on a scholarship probably. You're brilliant, and you can do whatever you want. And… sex, and… so on. What about the first time a boy kisses you. You'll never get to feel what that's like if you kill yourself."

"You would want to kiss me?"

'I would."

"You would?"

"If it'll stop you from doing this, I'll kiss you as much as you like."

"You- you… wait, what? No. No, stop it, Scrippsy. Stop confusing me. I- I have to do this." Once more, Posner turned back to the precipice.

"POZ!" Scripps screamed.

Posner seemed to tremble, sway, and fall. At first, he appeared to fall voer the edge, but then, as Scripps' heart went into overdrive, he fell back onto the gravel of the rooftop. Scripps ran over to him, grabbed him, and ulled the smaller boy over to the middle of the roof.

"Poz!" he cried.

"I… I wanted to Scrippsy. I wanted to end it all. It's just like _Brief Encounter_. I so _wanted_ for it all to end, but.. I couldn't. It was… sweet fo you, but I'm just too much of a coward. So now its back to real life I guess…" Posner began to silently cry.

Scripps pulled the smaller boy up a bit, and wiped away the tears with his thumb.

'Come on now, Poz. Cheer up. You'll get through this. I'll help you. We all will. We all love you."

"Except Dakin." Posner said sadly.

"Just… forget about Dakin, Poz. You'll get over him. That's the way you are, Poz. Eventually your little spaniel heart will find someone new, someone who does love you back."

"Oh... Scrippsy…" Posner hugged the taller boy,

"Alright. Give us a kiss." Scripps said laughing.

Posner smiled, pecked Scripps on the cheek, and slowly got up.

"Poz, if you ever… if there's ever anything I can…"

"You always help, dear."


End file.
